Looking to spice up your sex life? 

Whether you’re in a long term relationship or a budding new romance, exploring your sexual fantasies is a normal part of every relationship. Sure, getting it on is exhilarating and fun, but looking to explore your deeper fantasies can often leave you feeling timid or embarrassed. How will your partner respond? 

Talking to your partner about your fantasies is often nerve-wracking, but being open and honest is the quickest way to take the Big O to the next level. Not only can it enhance your sex life, but it can also deepen your connection in ways you never knew possible! Today we’re here to share 8 tips on how to communicate your fantasies with your partner. Keep reading to learn more: 

1. Set the Mood 

Setting the mood is the first step to communicating your fantasies with your partner. Since the conversation may be somewhat of a surprise to your partner, you want to make sure you communicate your desires in a relaxed, calm, and safe setting. To avoid catching your partner off guard by blurting out your kinks over creme brulee on your anniversary dinner at a five star restaurant, consider setting the mood at home to allow your partner to comfortably consider your desires. What may feel exciting and thrilling to you, may catch your partner by surprise. It’s best to share these fantasies when you’re in an intimate, calm environment where your partner has time to process the information and feel comfortable with what you’re sharing. 

2. Be Honest

Be open and honest about your fantasies. Why does this turn you on? What sparked this fantasy? How long have you had this desire? Share why you want to try this with your partner and how it could deepen your sexual connection. After all, your partner is most likely satisfied when you’re satisfied, so share why this could be something beneficial for both of you to try together. 

3. Use “I” Statements

When communicating with a partner, it is always best to use “I” statements to avoid coming off as critical. Rather than saying “You never do (this)”, say “I think I would really like to try (this)”. It allows your partner to understand your point of view without feeling like they haven’t been satisfying you. 

4. Ask Your Partner About Their Fantasies

Since you’ve opened the conversation about your fantasies, now is the perfect time to ask your partner about their fantasies. Is there anything they want to try? Would you be open to exploring their fantasies as well? Discussing fantasies as a team can open Pandora’s Box to a mind-blowing world of sex and pleasure. Sex is about both partners, so being open to their fantasies is the best way to explore yours as well. 

5. Be Considerate Of Their Reactions

Just because a fantasy has been on your sex bucket list for a while, doesn’t mean it has been on your partner’s list. Be considerate of their reactions. Regardless of how vanilla or X-Rated your fantasy may be, there’s a chance you will hit your partner with a bit of shock. Be open as to why this fantasy excites you and share more information about it. Most importantly, be patient. Give your partner time to process this information and understand your desires. 

6. Research 

The best way to ease your partner into a fantasy is through research. Whether it’s exploring props and accessories online, watching videos on RM11, reading about this fantasy – the best way to engage your partner is to educate your partner and make them feel confident about trying something new! 

7. Take It Slow

If your partner agrees and is ready to try out your fantasy, take it slow. If you’re trying bondage for the first time, perhaps start with a satin blindfold and furry handcuffs before diving into full-on BDSM. Looking to try a threesome? Maybe get cozy with a sexy someone at the bar before bringing a new person into the bedroom. Taking things slow will allow your partner to get comfortable with the idea before diving in head first. 

8. Reflect On The Experience

You got the green light and explored your fantasies. Now what? The best step is to talk with your partner and reflect on the experience. How did it feel? Did they feel comfortable? Is it something they are willing to try again? Reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and how the experience felt. You want to make sure both partners feel respected, heard, and comfortable with the experience before assuming this is a new part of your love-making routine. Communication is key when trying something new in the bedroom, so be sure to keep an open and honest dialogue about the experience. 

Discussing your fantasies with your partner can be an enriching and exciting way to elevate your sex life. Being open, honest, and patient is the best way to communicate your desires, as well as being open to your partner’s needs and wants. Exploring fantasies in the bedroom can not only strengthen your relationship, but also take your orgasms to a level you never knew existed. What are you waiting for?